Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Assamese Joke - Office secretary

অফিচৰ বচে চেক্রেটাৰি ৰুমীক
মাতি ক'লে, ''ৰুমী, এসপ্তাহৰবাবে
আমি দুয়ো চিংগাপুৰ যাম,
যাবানে ? খুউব এনজয় কৰিম... ব'লা ।''
ৰুমীয়ে লগে লগেই তাইৰ হাজবেণ্ড
প্ৰৱাললৈ ফ'ন কৰি ক'লে, ''প্ৰৱাল,
মই এসপ্তাহৰ বাবে অফিচৰ কামত
চিংগাপুৰলৈ যাব লাগিব, তুমি
ভালকৈ থাকিবা ।'' প্ৰৱালে লগে
লগেই তাৰ গার্লফ্রেণ্ড অনুলৈ ফ'ন
কৰি কলে, ''মোৰ পত্নী এসপ্তাহৰ
বাবে বাহিৰলৈ যাব, তুমি এসপ্তাহৰ
বাবে মোৰ কাষলৈ গুচি আহা, খুউব
এনজয় কৰিম... আহা ।'' অনুৱে লগে
লগেই তাইৰ ছাত্ৰী প্ৰভাক মাতি
ক'লে, ''মই এসপ্তাহৰ বাবে অলপ
বিজি থাকিম, তোমাৰ এই সপ্তাহ
ছুটি । তুমি ইনজয় কৰা।'' প্ৰভায়ে
লগে লগেই তাইৰ দেউতাকলৈ ফ'ন
কৰি ক'লে, ''দেউতা, কাইলৈৰ পৰা
মোৰ প্রাইভেট ক্লাছ সাতদিনৰ
বাবে বন্ধ... মই ঘৰত আহিম, তুমিও
কাইলৈ ঘৰতে থাকিবা ! তোমাৰ
লগত বহুত কথা আছে । আই ল'ভ ইউ
পাপা ।'' জীয়েকৰ ফ'ন পাই
দেউতাকে লগে লগেই অফিচৰ লেডি
চেক্ৰেটাৰিজনীক মাতি ক'লে,
''ৰুমী, হঠাৎ মোৰ বেলেগ এটা কাম
আহি গ'ল, চিংগাপুৰ যোৱা আৰু নহ'ব
। আমাৰ জাৰ্নি কেনচেল ।'' ৰুমীয়ে
লগে লগেই তাই হাজব্ৰেণ্ড
প্ৰৱাললৈ ফ'ন কৰিলে, ''মই ক'লেও
নাযাওঁ । চিংগাপুৰলৈ যোৱা
কেনচেল হৈছে। তুমি আৰু
অকলশলীয়া হৈ থাকিব নালাগে,
মই আহি আছোঁ ।'' প্ৰৱালে লগে
লগেই তাৰ গাৰ্লফ্ৰেণ্ড অনুলৈ ফ'ন
কৰি ক'লে, ''এই শুনা শুনা, মোৰ
পত্নী ক'লেও নাযায়, সেয়ে তুমি
আহিব নালাগে ।'' প্ৰৱালৰ কথা
শুনি অনুৱে তাইৰ ছাত্ৰী প্ৰভাক ফ'ন
কৰি ক'লে, ''মোৰ যিটো কাম
আছিল, সেইটো কাম অলপ পিছুৱাই
দিছোঁ । তুমি পুৱা সোণকালে
পঢ়িবলৈ আহি যাবা ।'' কথা শুনি
প্ৰভায়ে তৎক্ষণাত দেউতাকলৈ ফ'ন
কৰি ক'লে, ''দেউতা, মই কাইলৈ
আহিব নোৱাৰিম, কাৰণ মোৰ
প্রাইভেট মেডামে পুৱা
সোণকালেই মোক আহিব কৈছে ।
সন্মুসত পৰীক্ষা আছে, বহুত পঢ়িবলৈ
বাকী আছে । আই ল'ভ ইউ পাপা ।''
জীয়েকৰ কথা শুনি দেউতাকে লগে
লগেই অফিচৰ লেডি চেক্ৰেটাৰি
জনীক মাতি ক'লে, ''মোৰ যিটো
কাম আছিল সেইটো তোমাৰ বাবেই
কেনচেন কৰিছোঁ ! ব'লা, কাইলৈ
আমি দুয়ো চিংগাপুৰ যাম, তুমি
ৰেডী হৈ লোৱা, লেটচ এনজয় ।''
ৰুমীয়ে তাই হাচব্ৰেণ্ড প্ৰৱালক লগে
লগেই ফ'ন কৰিলে, ''হেল্ল' ''মই
কাইলৈ চিংগাপুৰ যাবই
লাগিব....'' ........ প্ৰৱাল ......... অনু,
.......... প্ৰভা .......... দেউতাক..........
ৰুমী ......... প্ৰৱাল ........... অনু ............
প্ৰভা .......... দেউতাক ...........
আপোনালোকেই কওকচোন সিহঁতৰ
বাৰু এনজয় কৰা হ'বগৈনে ?

Source: Unknown
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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I have a pen... you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities.

Boy : I have a pen... you have a
phone number. Think of the
possibilities.
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Girl : I have a sandal.. you have a
face. Think of Casualties.
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I’m not addicted to Facebook.I only use it when i have time

I’m not addicted to Facebook.I only use it when i have time
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Lunch time,
Break time,
Bed time,
Off time,
This time,
That time,
Any time,
All the time
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Nobody In The World Can

Nobody In The World Can
.
.
.
Stop U From Falling In Love....
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But...???
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2 Powerful Weapons Can Do That.
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Mummy's Chappal
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& Daddy's Belt
.
Exclusively Made In India
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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Santa Ek Bar Interview Dene Gaya.


Santa Ek Bar Interview Dene Gaya.
Jiske End Mein Interviewer Ko
Mental Hospital Leke Jana Pada.
Interviewer: “ Let Me Check Your
Word Power ”
Santa: “ Ok Sir ”
Interviewer: “ Tell Me The
Opposite Of Good ”
Santa: “ Bad ”
Interviewer: “ Come ”

Santa: “ Go ”
Interviewer: “ Ugly ” Santa: “
Pichlli ”
Interviewer: “ Pichlliiiii? ”
Santa: “Uglyyyyyyyyy ”
Interviewer: “ Shut Up ”
Santa: “ Keep Talking ”
Interviewer: “ Ok Now Stop These
All ”
Santa: “ Ok Now Carry On This All

Interviewer Cheek Kar: “ Abe,
Chup Ho Ja, Chup Ho Ja, Chup Ho
Jaaaa ”
Santa: “ Abe, Bolta Rah, Bolta Rah,
Bolta Rahhh ”
Interviewer: “ Areeee Yaaar ”
Santa: “ Areeee Dushmannnnnn ”
Interviewer: “ Get Out ”
Santa: “ Come In ”
Interviewer: “ Oh My God ”
Santa: “ Oh My Devil ”
Interviewer: “ You Are Rejected ”
Santa: “ I Am Selected, I M
Selected??? Really? ? Balle Balle, O
Balle Balle, O Balle Balle

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LETTER TO PRINCIPAL - Funny Jokes

Salaam Kamine.!. yeh bata kaun haramkhor paper set karta hai.
Kaminey, students ki jaan nikal jati hai.
Upar se kutte paper checking to aise karta hai jaise apni maa ki maut ka badla le rha ho. .
.
Aisa sylbus banaya hai jaise tumhare yahan toh haramkhor sab topper hi janme hai. tera baap bhi is paper me pass nai hoga.
tu khud is paper mein 10 bar fail hoga.
tu kabhi bahar mi
l sale..
bataunga tujhe...
Urs Unfaithfully,
.
Tere Tarah Ghada nahi hu jo apna naam likhunga kutte ke Pille...
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Four Friends

4 friends meet 30 years after school. One goes to the toilet, while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No 1 says his son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a ferrari.
No 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.
No 3 said his son became an engineer, started his own d
ev

elopment company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.
No 4 came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about. They told him they were talking about how successful their sons became and ask him about his son.
He said his son is gay and is a stripper at a gay bar. Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.
O no said the father, he is doing good. Last week was his birthday and he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends. :P

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS


Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"
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Caught sleeping together



Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class
Think +ve:)

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Pogo dekhne wale bacchey mat padna

 
Pogo dekhne wale bacchey mat padna
Ek Seth ne Sindhi salesman Rakha..Sales
choguni ho gayi..
Seth shop pe aaya toh woh Grahak ko Fishing
Rod bech raha tha,
Seth khada ho k dekhne laga,grahak ne 800
me fishing rod kharid liya...
Sindhi bola-Itne mehnge joote pehanke
fishing
karoge ???
Sports shoe le lo...
Usne 600 ke shoes le liye.Sindhii
bola-Dhoop lagegi,ek Cap bhi lo,usne le li.
Sindhi bola-Fishing karte hue bhookh lagegi
to kuch khane ko le
lo...
Usne chips,biscuit le liye...
Woh bola fish rakhne ke liye ek basket le lo,
le liya...
Iss tarah uska bill 8000 bana...
Seth bahut khush hua bola - Tum acche
salesman ho, woh keval
Fishing rod lene aaya tha aur tumne itna
saman bech diya !!!
Sindhi-Sethji woh to biwi ke liye
"WHISPER"
lene aaya tha,
Maine kaha- 5 din kya karega, ja machali
pakad jake...!!! :D xD
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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Albet Einstien Calculate Every Thing

Albert Einstien once Said:
I Can Calculate Every Thing
Even The Velocity Of Light
But
I Can’t Calculate The timing of loadsheding in India :p
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Ek admi chupke se jannat main chala gaya

Ek admi chupke se jannat main chala gaya farishto ne pakar kar buhat mara admi utha aur bola “Tum logoin ki in hi harkaton ki waja say koi banda jannat main nahin aata”
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Mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?

Pati: Mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: Nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: Main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga
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A Doctor and Engineer Love Tha Same Girl...

A Doctor and Engineer Love Tha Same Girl.
Dr. Used to Give her a Rose
But
Engg. Used to Give her Apple Daily.

One day, Doctor Asks Why??

Engg: "An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away"..!!

Doctor Shocked , Engg. Rocks!!!
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